Polyamory

Your favorite long-term client tells you they want to open up their relationship. Are you ready to help them?This groundbreaking guide to consensual nonmonogamy offers a reading experience that feels like consulting with a trusted advisor. Martha Kauppi equips you with the skills to be a true ally to clients who want to explore polyamory. Learn from the expert who trains experts as she debunks myths and shares the exact tools she uses with her own clients.Flip to any chapter for an understanding of what is possible, where things break down and why, and how to help. You'll learn how to conceptualize complicated relational dynamics in a way that leads to effective treatment, and how to identify and disrupt maladaptive relational patterns without perpetuating negative cultural bias. A must-read for anyone looking for a framework to simplify the complexities of polyamory.

Table of ContentsAcknowledgementsIntroductionSection 1: Polyamory from a therapist's perspectiveChapter 1: Consensual non-monogamies: what are the options?Chapter 2: Polyamory; who, what, whyChapter 3: Overlapping marginalized populations and intersectionalityChapter 4: Polyamory theory or why polyamory makes sense to someChapter 5: Who can benefit from consensual non-monogamy?Section 2: Creating a strong foundation for therapy with polyamoryChapter 6: The therapist: bias, strengths, and challengesChapter 7: What makes a good relationship?Chapter 8: Conceptualizing the case: if polyamory isn't the problem, what is?Chapter 9: Using the Initiator/Inquirer Process to support differentiation and move toward decisionsChapter 10: Getting polyamory therapy off to a strong startSection 3: Polyamory in the therapy room: common presenting problemsChapter 11: Negotiating polyamory: forming good agreementsChapter 12: Negotiating polyamory: talking points for partnersChapter 13: Understanding and addressing jealousyChapter 14: Infidelity, broken agreements, and building trustChapter 15: Working with reluctant polyams and mono-polyamsChapter 16: Recovering from polyamory gone wrongChapter 17: Role-related challenges and benefits: primaries, secondaries, hingesChapter 18: Relationship transitions: new relationships energy, relationship decisions, shifting between partners, and breakupsChapter 19: Polyamorous families with children, and coming out issues Section 4: Professional considerationsChapter 20: Ethical considerationsChapter 21: Marketing yourself as a polyamory-friendly therapistSection 5: Worksheets, Exercises, and HandoutsMy relationship ideas: reflection worksheet (included in chapter 6)Relationship structures: imaginative reflection (included in chapter 7)Dreams and desires (included in chapter 7)Daily practice identifying thoughts and feelings (included in chapter 8)Needs versus desires (included in chapter 8)Preparing to communicate (included in chapter 8)Rehearsing tough conversations (included in chapter 8)Accessing motivation (included in chapter 8)Holding steady self-coaching worksheet (included in chapter 8)Time out handout (included in chapter 8)Initiator (copyright The Couples Institute, pdf) (referenced in chapter 9 and could also be included there)Inquirer (copyright The Couples Institute, pdf) (referenced in chapter 9 and could also be included there)30 Ideas no matter how silly brainstorming process (included in chapter 9)How to get the most out of relationship therapy handout (included in chapter 10)Getting clear on your goals (included in chapter 10)Feelings about polyamory and monogamy (included in chapter 12)Big picture relationship musings (included in chapter 12)Imagining many forms of open (included in chapter 12)Discussion points for partners with shared responsibilities (included in chapter 12)Managing information and emotional boundaries (included in chapter 12)Consolidating information, working toward action (included in chapter 12)Challenging your narrative assumptions (included in chapter 13)Co-creating a trusting relationship (included in chapter 14)How I plan to handle new relationship energy (included in chapter 18)Resolving a dilemma using two chairs (included in chapter 18)