How to Raise a Boyfriend

Rebecca Eckler shows women everywhere that while they're busy offering not-so-casual advice and reprimands to the men in their life, they've lost sight of an important fact: they're not dating a boyfriend, they're raising a boyfriend.He wandered away from the checkout, leaving her to cope with an overflowing shopping car. He dashed in front of her to cross a busy intersection without so much as a backwards glance. He forgot - forgot! - to meet her at the airport after a trip. And then an inescapable truth settled in: Rebecca Eckler already had a six-year-old daughter, so what was she doing with a boyfriend who was even worse behaved? There were only two options. Dump the sucker and concentrate on raising her child. Or raise her boyfriend, too.From making introductions, to offering compliments, to saying you're sorry, boyfriends need to be raised with the same lessons we use on our kids. As Rebecca writes, "If I can raise a child - a smart, kind and polite one - surely I can raise a boyfriend, too."

ContentsWarning xDear Any Dumb-ass Guy Thinking About Dating Me xiPart 1: LANGUAGE ARTS 1. Why Is It So Hard for Men to Answer a Damn Question? 32. Pick Up Your Phone and Return My Texts 103. Magic Words. Men Did Go to Kindergarten, Didn’t They? 164. You Say Nothing and I Say Hello 215. Do You Think I’m Pretty? Do I Look Good? Do You Like My Haircut? Then Why the Fuck Don’t You Say So? 266. Seriously! They Are Only Three Words: I Love You 337. Why Saying Sorry Is as Hard for Men as Asking for Directions 378. How Can You Fall Asleep? We’re Just Starting the Fight! 43You Have Another Three Hours to Go, Buddy!Part 2: Social Development/Social Sciences 9. I’m Here … Where the Hell Are You? 5110. You’re Bailing? WTF? 5511. Would You Like Some Cheese with That Whine? 5812. What Cave Did You Grow Up In? 6113. Being a Plus One. When Good Dates Go Bad 6514. The PDA. Don’t You Want to Let the World Know I’m Yours? 7015. You’re Not Really Going to Wear That, Are You? 7316. Shopping with Men. Like Swimming with Sharks, but Worse 7817. Baggage (and Not the Louis Vuitton Kind). I’m Talking About the Ex. Why Won’t She Go Away? 8118. Being Friends with the Opposite Sex. Just Friends? 8619. Flirting. Yes, She’s Cute, but She Doesn’t Have Anything in Her Teeth, So Stop Staring!8820. The Washroom. Seriously, What Are You Doing in There? 9121. Gas (Not at the Pumps). It’s Really NOT Funny 9422. Take the Hint: We Want Our Alone Time 9623. Last Call. No, It’s NOT Okay to Bring Your Drunk Friends Home for a Nightcap 98Part 3: Physical Sciences 24. Hello? I’m RIGHT BEHIND YOU! 10325. Use the Button If You Want to Turn Me On 10626. Just a Little Bit About Porn … 11027. The Dishwasher Is NOT Invisible, You Know 11428. Why Separating Whites and Darks Can Lead to a Different Kind of Separation 11829. Diagnosis? Man Cold. Prescription? Shut the Fuck Up 12030. Why Male Nurses Are Sexy … Or So We Think 12331. Help in Aisle Five! There’s a Clueless Man Grocery Shopping 12532. The Needy Guy (Stop the Madness!) 12933. The Gas Station. How to Fill Up the Car 13134. You’re “Driving” Me Insane! This Should Not Be the Highway to Hell! 134Part 4: Attitude/Effort 35. Movie Night. What Do You Mean You Don’t Want to See The Notebook? 14136. You Can Remember Who Won the 1991 World Series, but You Can’t Remember Our Anniversary? 14437. Celebrate Good Times, and Moan with Us During Bad Times 15138. You Can Book a Tee Time but Not a Reservation? 15439. Getting High and Other Bad Habits. Don’t Be a Dope 15740. Five Hundred Channels and One Argument 16041. The Adult Temper Tantrum. You Need a Time Out, Mister! 16342. How to Travel Together. It’s NOT a Day at the Spa 16643. Money, Money, Honey … 169Part 5: I Know This Is the Way You Are 44. Snorers. Yes, You Do So Snore! 17545. Temperature Rising: Air-Conditioner Wars 177Epilogue 179Afterword 183Acknowledgments 185